Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconxthe-eleanorx: More from xthe-eleanorx


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
July 1, 2012
File Size
854 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
138
Favourites
3 (who?)
Comments
9
×
She balances her laptop on her knees and drums her fingers along the keys.

It's four in the morning, ninety-six degrees in this room, her shirt is sticking to her back, and she feels cold.

The night air is dense, the humidity is oppressive, her computer base burning into her legs and the screen is burning into her eyes.

In the top right-hand corner of the screen, she has typed in the name, all fifteen letters. The links provided by the search engine are all purple.

Except one.

She taps her fingers along the keyboard and hovers her mouse over the remaining blue link.

A Fire Consumes a Local Restaurant Leaving Two Injured and One Dead.

She pushes her finger down and shivers.
And so FFM begins.

I tried showing a story here rather than telling one, but we shall see how that turned itself out.

They will get better, I promise.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlottie-girl:
Lottie-Girl Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Student General Artist
This is brilliant.
I usually don't like it when the writer tells me everything but the way you've crafted your piece works well; every image is vivid and striking and even though you alert the reader to an incident it leaves them wanting more (well I do anyway)
:D
Reply
:iconxthe-eleanorx:
xthe-eleanorx Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you very much! With this story, I tried to tell what she was doing rather than what was really happening.
Reply
:iconlottie-girl:
Lottie-Girl Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Student General Artist
Fantastic :D
Reply
:iconshyanne-kai:
Shyanne-Kai Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012
I love this, and the imagery of her sitting with her computer are very relatable. I love the word 'shivers' at the end, which gives the reader intrigue and questions why she has clicked on this link - is it a personal story? Does she get adrenaline from seeing images of these things? Was she involved, either causing the fire, or is she in fact the one that died? Fantastic.
Reply
:iconxthe-eleanorx:
xthe-eleanorx Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! I envisioned it as this girl googles this man often, hence all of the links are purple because she has clicked on them over and over. But then one night, she this story about a fire comes up when she googles his name, and it means that he was involved in said fire, and she doesn't know whether he is dead or injured until she actually reads the article.
Reply
:iconarabesque-o:
arabesque-o Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student Photographer
the visuals are so strong i can almost feel the burn of the laptop and the heat and see the dark and the screen illuminating the room.
short, but well written<3
Reply
:iconxthe-eleanorx:
xthe-eleanorx Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :hug:
Reply
:icondarkthrop:
Darkthrop Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012
it's good because it makes you wonder what's next :D
Reply
:iconxthe-eleanorx:
xthe-eleanorx Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2012  Student Writer
Thanks. :D
Reply
Add a Comment: