Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconxthe-eleanorx: More from xthe-eleanorx


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
May 7, 2011
File Size
1.4 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
319
Favourites
15 (who?)
Comments
26
×
Grandfather had a pet bird. Just a small, yellow and white parakeet; he named it Georgie, after Grandmother. Every morning, he would wake up at 6 o'clock, make a pot of coffee, grab the newspaper, and feed the small bird a small pile of birdseed. And he would gently carry the birdcage, and place it on the table and talk to her as he drank his coffee and read the newspaper.

"Gas prices are up again Georgie, geez, remember when we could pay 20¢ to fill up our car?"


And sometimes the bird almost chirped in response. Years and years went by, and Grandfather grew older, and he could no longer carry the bird off the shelf, but he would still feed and talk to her at 6 o'clock.

One morning, Grandfather found himself barely able to make it out of bed. He still made his way into the kitchen to feed his dear bird. His hand shook and some birdseed fell to the floor as he carefully moved into the tray into the cage. He slowly made his way to the table so that he could sit down.

"…I think… this is… it Georgie.
I... I… love… you."


Grandfather rested his head on the back of his chair and closed his eyes. The bird sat in her cage, waiting for Grandfather to speak to her, to tell her what he was thinking, but he didn't.
Because when I say that I'm going to write something pretty, I actually write about old people and dying.

Is there enough of a plot?
What do you think of the ending?
Would the story work better if "Grandfather" is "Grandmother"?
Thoughts? Comments?
Love? Hate?
Add a Comment:
 
:iconahalteke:
Ahalteke Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
-cries- this is so, so sad D:
Reply
:iconxthe-eleanorx:
xthe-eleanorx Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2012  Student Writer
Don't be sad! It's just a story, don't worry. :pat:
Reply
:iconahalteke:
Ahalteke Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
awwww :) okay a very good story though. Just thinking about it is sad :C
Reply
:iconenglandrain:
englandrain Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I'm tearing up right now. Though the story had such a sad ending, I loved it so much and it made me very happy to find a nice piece of literature. Grandfather seems like such a sweet man, by the way.
Reply
:iconxthe-eleanorx:
xthe-eleanorx Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you very much!
The character was kinda-sorta based on my great-grandfather who, unfortunately I don't remember all that well since he passed away when I was a child, but I still have little snippets of his memory, so I tried to use them.
Reply
:iconemmings:
Emmings Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011
It's fairly simple and the diction is simple, and I really like this because of that. It's moving, it's touching, it's gripping.

The story plot is...wow.

I liked it as Grandfather. The dialogue shows how he goes on his life as if Georgie is still with him. I absolutely adore this piece, and I come back to re-read it now and then again.

I'm moved. Great piece.
Reply
:iconxthe-eleanorx:
xthe-eleanorx Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011  Student Writer
Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it :heart:
Reply
:iconi-rainy-i:
i-RaiNy-i Featured By Owner May 21, 2011  Student General Artist
Lols birdseed.
Reply
:iconxthe-eleanorx:
xthe-eleanorx Featured By Owner May 21, 2011  Student Writer
Birdseed.
Reply
:iconwakip:
WaKip Featured By Owner May 18, 2011   Writer
-I believe this wasn't meant to have a deep rooted, set up polt, and I like it for the small, but moving plot you put here.
-I like the grandfather concept more, guys tend to be a lot less emotional and its great to read them conveying more than we often see.
-This was quite thought provoking as well as profound. For a short story this made me express emotion, and feel just a little sad.
Love. Most definatly Love.
Reply
Add a Comment: